Top 10, Volume I

Ok, this is rushed, but will have to do. Here is part one in a 10-part series:

Top 10 signs Leeann is getting old:

10. Increasingly intolerant of more than just lactose
9. Boy Scouts keep trying to help her cross the street
8. Her hair color comes from a bottle (see previous post)
7. Buys bras for comfort, rather than sexiness
6. Seriously, these bras are architectural wonders. I call them battle cruisers, because they can stop bullets
5. Getting in or out of a chair involves lots of sound effects
4. More sound effects in general (see item No. 10)
3. Has lots of gay friends, just like the Golden Girls
2. No longer hip -- just hippy
And the No. 1 sign that Leeann is getting old:
1. Babe, you’ve already had your first colonoscopy. ‘Nuff said.